In many small and growing businesses, the Office Manager wears a lot of hats.

One minute you’re coordinating suppliers, the next you’re organising a team event, and before you know it, someone is knocking on your door with a workplace issue that feels very much like an HR problem.

Sound familiar?

The reality is that Office Managers often become the first point of contact for employees. Whilst you don’t need to be an HR expert, knowing how to handle common people issues can help you support your team, protect your business, and recognise when it’s time to seek specialist advice.

Here’s some simple guidance to navigating HR issues with confidence.

1. Listen first, react second

When an employee brings a concern to you, your first instinct may be to solve the problem immediately. Don’t. Your role is to listen, understand the situation, and gather the facts.

Whether it’s a grievance, workplace conflict, absence concern, or wellbeing issue, avoid making promises or taking sides before you have the full picture.

Instead, focus on:

• Listening without judgement
  • Asking open questions
  • Taking notes where appropriate
  • Maintaining confidentiality

Employees often just want to feel heard before any action is taken.

2. Know Your Policies

You don’t need to memorise every employment law regulation, but you should know where to find your company’s policies.

Common policies to familiarise yourself with include:

• Sickness absence
  • Disciplinary procedures
  • Grievance procedures
  • Flexible working
  • Equality, diversity and inclusion
  • Bullying and harassment
  • Annual leave

Policies provide consistency and help ensure everyone is treated fairly.

When facing an unfamiliar issue, your first stop should always be your policies and procedures.

3. Document everything

One of the most common mistakes we see is a lack of documentation.

If a concern, conversation or workplace incident occurs, make a record of it.

This doesn’t need to be complicated, but it should include:

• Dates and times
  • Who was involved
  • What was discussed
  • Any agreed actions

Good records protect both employees and employers and can prove invaluable if an issue progresses further.

4. Don’t ignore early warning signs

Small issues rarely stay small.

A minor disagreement between colleagues, repeated lateness, changes in behaviour, or frequent sickness absence can sometimes indicate a larger problem beneath the surface.

Addressing concerns early can prevent them escalating into formal grievances, disciplinary issues or resignations.

Remember, difficult conversations are usually easier than difficult consequences.

5. Support employee wellbeing

Not every HR issue is a performance issue.

Sometimes an employee’s behaviour, attendance or productivity may be linked to factors outside of work, such as stress, caring responsibilities, mental health concerns or health conditions.

A supportive conversation can often make a significant difference.

Ask:

• Is there anything we can do to support you?
  • Are there any adjustments that would help?
  • Do you feel you have the resources you need?

Being proactive demonstrates that your organisation genuinely cares about its people.

6. Know when to escalate

One of the most important skills an Office Manager can develop is recognising when an issue requires HR support.

Seek advice if the situation involves:

• Disciplinary action
  • Grievances
  • Allegations of bullying or harassment
  • Discrimination concerns
  • Long-term sickness absence
  • Capability or performance management
  • Potential dismissals

Trying to handle complex employee relations matters without guidance can create significant risks for the business.

There’s no shame in asking for help, t’s often the most sensible thing you can do.

7. Consistency is key

Employees notice when managers treat situations differently. Consistency helps build trust, improves employee relations and reduces the risk of claims or complaints.

Ask yourself:

“Would I handle this situation in the same way for another employee?” If the answer is no, you may need to revisit your approach.

The Bottom Line

You don’t need to be an HR professional to handle day-to-day people matters effectively.

By listening carefully, documenting appropriately, following policies and knowing when to seek support, Office Managers can play a vital role in creating a positive and compliant workplace culture.

Remember, HR isn’t about catching people out, it’s about helping people and businesses thrive.

And when you’re not quite sure what the next step should be? That’s what we’re here for.

If you need support with a people issue, policy review or employee relations matter, please get in touch with the team at Realise HR. We’re always happy to help.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is no longer something for the future. It’s already here, and it’s changing the way we work.

From drafting emails and writing policies to screening CVs and analysing data, AI tools are becoming part of everyday business operations. Employees are using AI to help write grievances, managers are using it to draft difficult conversations, and recruiters are increasingly relying on AI-powered systems to identify candidates.

But whilst AI offers huge opportunities, it also creates new challenges for employers.

So, is AI in the workplace an opportunity, a risk, or a bit of both?

Many HR professionals have already seen it. A grievance letter that suddenly jumps from a few emotional bullet points to a detailed, legally-worded document citing employment law, discrimination, constructive dismissal, and every HR buzzword under the sun.

The employee may have written it themselves, used AI to help structure their thoughts, or asked AI to rewrite it entirely.

The important thing to remember is this:

The quality of the document doesn’t necessarily reflect the strength of the complaint.

AI can help employees communicate concerns more clearly, especially if they struggle with writing or lack confidence in expressing difficult issues. In many cases, that’s actually a positive development.

However, it can also create challenges:

• Complaints may appear more serious than they initially are
• Grievances can become longer and more complex
• Managers may become intimidated by legal terminology
• Investigations can become distracted by AI-generated wording rather than the core issue

Our advice? Focus on the facts, not the formatting.

Whether a grievance arrives as a handwritten note or a professionally drafted three-page document, the process should remain exactly the same.

• Follow your grievance policy
• Summarise and clarify the key points of the grievance with the employee, especially if it is a long document. Being aligned is important
• Ensure a thorough impartial investigation is carried out and is well documented
• Remember the right to appeal too.

AI in Recruitment: Saving time or creating bias?

Recruitment is one of the areas where AI is having the biggest impact.

Businesses are using AI to:

• Draft job adverts
• Screen CVs
• Generate interview questions
• Assist with candidate communications
• Analyse recruitment data

Done well, AI can significantly improve efficiency.

Hiring managers can save hours on administrative tasks and spend more time engaging with candidates. Smaller businesses can access recruitment support that may previously have been out of reach.

However, there are risks.

AI systems are only as good as the information they’re trained on. If historical hiring data contains unconscious bias, AI can unintentionally reinforce it.

There is also a danger in relying too heavily on automation.

Recruitment remains a people process. Skills, potential, personality, cultural contribution and values cannot always be assessed by an algorithm.

The best recruitment strategies use AI to support decision-making, not replace it.

The benefits of AI in the workplace

There is no denying the advantages. Used responsibly, AI can help organisations:

Improve productivity

Routine administrative tasks can often be completed more quickly, freeing employees to focus on higher-value work.

Enhance employee support

AI-powered tools can assist with wellbeing resources, learning and development, policy guidance, and employee self-service.

Improve communication

Whether it’s summarising lengthy documents, drafting emails, analysing data or simplifying complex information, AI can help employees communicate more effectively.

Increase accessibility

For employees who struggle with writing, language barriers, neurodiversity, or confidence, AI can provide valuable support in expressing ideas and completing tasks.

In many ways, AI has the potential to level the playing field and create more inclusive workplaces.

The Risks employers shouldn’t ignore

As with any new technology, there are risks. A main one being Data protection and confidentiality

Employees may unknowingly enter confidential business information into public AI tools.

This can create significant GDPR, security and commercial risks.

Accuracy issues

AI can produce convincing information that is factually incorrect.

A policy, grievance response or management decision based solely on AI-generated content could lead to serious errors.

Employee relations challenges

Managers who rely heavily on AI-generated responses may come across as robotic, impersonal or lacking empathy.

Employees don’t want to feel like their concerns have been answered by a chatbot.

There is also a risk that the AI generated response does not align with your internal policies.

Inconsistent use

Some employees may embrace AI whilst others avoid it entirely.

Without clear guidance, organisations risk creating inconsistency, confusion and potential unfairness.

What should employers do?

Banning AI altogether is unlikely to be realistic or effective.

Instead, organisations should focus on creating sensible boundaries around its use.

Develop an AI usage policy

Employees need guidance on:

• What AI tools can be used
• What information should never be entered into AI systems
• How AI outputs should be reviewed and verified
• Individual accountability for work produced using AI

Train managers

Managers need to understand both the opportunities and limitations of AI.

This includes recognising when human judgement, empathy and decision-making remain essential.

Review recruitment processes

If AI is being used during recruitment, ensure there is appropriate human oversight and regular reviews to identify potential bias or unintended consequences.

Keep people at the centre

The best workplaces will use AI to support people, not replace them.

AI can help generate ideas, improve efficiency and reduce administration, but human conversations, leadership, judgement and empathy remain irreplaceable.

The bottom line

AI isn’t coming to the workplace, it’s already here.

Used well, it can improve productivity, streamline processes and support employees in new ways. Used poorly, it can create compliance risks, damage employee relations and undermine decision-making.

The organisations that will benefit most are those that embrace AI with curiosity, caution and clear boundaries.

As with most things in HR, technology matters. But people matter more.

Need help creating an AI policy, reviewing recruitment processes, or understanding the people implications of AI in your workplace? The team at Realise HR is here to help.

April is PMDD Awareness Month

So this month, we’re taking a closer look at PMDD in the workplace.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe, hormone‑related condition that affects some people in the lead‑up to their period (usually 7–10 days before). It is not the same as PMS.

PMDD is a clinically recognised medical condition and can have a significant impact on mood, energy, concentration, and physical wellbeing. For many, symptoms ease once menstruation begins, but during that time, work can feel incredibly tough.

Awareness matters. Understanding matters. And supportive workplaces make a real difference.

If you want to learn more about PMDD and how employers and managers can support people at work, please email hello@realisehr.co.uk to receive your free guide!

Warning: Get ready to feel old.

Generation Alpha, those born between 2010 and 2024, are now only a few short years away from joining the workforce. Digital natives, Gen Alpha have grown up in a world of smartphones, social media, and instant access to information, in a way that’s shaped not only their digital literacy but also their behaviours, perceptions and views about the world. For Gen Alpha, tech adoption starts early, with studies showing that almost half of children in this demographic own or use a tablet prior to 6 years old. Smartphones? Most children will have a smartphone by the age of 10 – the world at their fingertips.

As a millennial, my first phone was a Siemens C35 (Google it). It was great, I could text, talk and store phone numbers, and while a genuinely solid phone for its time, it did little to connect me outside of my immediate family and friendship group. Likewise, I didn’t get a home computer until I was 10 years old, and even then, it didn’t have the internet (at least, not at first). I distinctly remember using Microsoft Encarta – that’s a disc-based encyclopaedia – to do homework and watch videos of space shuttles, exotic animals, foreign countries and cultures, things that were so far away from little old me in Belle Vue, Carlisle. It really did feel like a marvel, like you were starting to see this thing called ‘the future’.

Fast forward to Gen Alpha and they have all of this at a click; they see more, they hear more, and it directly effects how they interpret and interact with the world. So, as employers brace for their arrival, it’s essential to understand the unique characteristics that define Gen Alpha and how companies can prepare for the changes they will bring.

Beyond their technological expectations, Gen Alpha place tremendous value on purpose and social impact. As Catherine Nobile, PsyD, the Founder and Director of Nobile Psychology states, “In contrast with preceding generations, Gen Alpha has grown up in a time when global issues are highly visible, multiple viewpoints are frequently aired” and as such they have a heightened awareness of globally pertinent topics such as climate change, social justice, and diversity. More than ever before, Gen Alpha will want to work for organisations that align with their values and contribute positively to society, where true thought has been given to embedding items such as sustainability and inclusivity into company culture and working practices.

Get ready for Gen Alpha to also challenge outdated conventions, policies, and things that, if we’re honest, don’t always make sense. If you’ve ever heard yourself, say, “well we’ve always done it this way” expect Gen Alpha to tackle this way of thinking. This doesn’t come from a hostile or confrontational place, but rather, says Dr. Nobile “born from the environment in which they’re growing up – a world that embraces self-expression, celebrates emotional intelligence” and doesn’t accept what’s said as gospel. We’re going to need to be transparent, flexible and practice what we preach.

Finally, Generation Alpha has grown up in a world of instant gratification. Social media platforms provide immediate feedback in the form of likes and comments, and this desire for real-time validation will likely translate into their work environment. They will expect regular feedback on their performance and progress, rather than waiting for annual reviews. For employers, this means adopting a more continuous feedback loop—providing real-time recognition, frequent check-ins, and more immediate performance evaluations.

By scrapping outdated annual review systems and offering timely praise or constructive feedback, organsations can meet the expectations of Gen Alpha. Additionally, integrating platforms that allow for ongoing performance tracking will help managers provide the kind of instant responses that this generation craves.

 

 

The debate over returning to the office (RTO) has reignited as companies increasingly call their employees back on-site. The post covid narrative around “the new normal”, a mix of highly connected hybrid and remote working, is under scrutiny as employers battle to understand what truly works for their business. A KPMG survey found that 64% of CEOs around the world think everyone will be back in the office by 2026.

This shift has triggered a mix of reactions across industries, with global brands such as Amazon and Spotify taking drastically different positions on what’s best for big ticket items on the People agenda such as productivity and workplace culture.

Amazon’s CEO, Andy Jassy, recently announced that all employees would be required to work from the office full-time starting in January 2025, signalling an end to the hybrid work model that had become common during and post pandemic. The decision, intended to foster collaboration and connectivity, has met significant resistance, with more than 500 employees (10% of Amazon’s workforce) signing a letter urging the company to rethink a mandated RTO. Matt Garman, Chief Executive at Amazon’s Web Services division, told colleagues that “those who don’t work well in that [office] environment and don’t want to, that’s okay, there are other companies around”. However intentioned, Garman’s comments have been heavily criticised, and it’s an interesting take. Garman states that the mandate is about “working together”; Jassy says it’s about creating a culture where “collaborating, brainstorming, and inventing are simpler and more effective”. I get it. I do. But there’s a question around whether culture should be more than what’s trending. Whether it should be so easily influenced by what’s happening in our economy (i.e. who has the most power at the time) or something more evidence-based and removed from social power struggles.

Spotify is aggressively at the other end of the spectrum. Katarina Berg, Spotify’s Chief Human Resources Officer, has said that while she understands why some companies are returning to office, that “you can’t spend a lot of time hiring grown-ups and then treat them like children”. While Spotify acknowledges the challenges of virtual collaboration, Spotify’s attrition rates have been 15% lower than before they implemented their ‘work from anywhere’ policy. Essentially, it’s helping them keep their talent. As the biggest music streaming platform in the world, it’s decided to let people choose their own working location…but interestingly is also retaining its office footprint. The company hosts music sessions with popular artists and schedules core weeks to bring staff together for strategy discussions, allowing employees to experience the benefits of in-office collaboration without enforcing it. Berg recognises that, “it’s different to being on a screen… We know what happens when people sit down, and you can actually look each other in the eye.”

 

So, what’s the answer? Mandates might backfire. Flexing your muscles is rarely received well and what’s worse, RTO mandates can be seen as a way to downsize the workforce via back-channel layoffs. Software company, Bamboo HR, found that a quarter of VP and C-Suite executives in their research admitted that they hoped their mandates would increase voluntary turnover.

Whatever you decide, clear communication, an openness to feedback, and a willingness to compromise are essential. By fostering a dialogue, companies can better understand how RTO policies impact employees’ lives, work-life balance, and financial well-being. Companies that respect employees’ autonomy and embrace flexible models are more likely to build lasting trust and retain talent. As the workplace continues to evolve, organisations that prioritise employee-centric policies will be well-positioned to thrive in the long term.

“Rise and grind” Bleugh.
“We’re like a family here” Sigh.
“Work hard, play hard” Burnout alert.

These phrases might make you cringe – toe-curling, aren’t they? – but most of us have been guilty of saying something similar in the past.

And I’ll let us off the hook by saying, it’s really not our fault. We’re all trying our best to respond and engage with an everchanging society that has evolving expectations, technologies, wants, needs and norms. It can be difficult to keep up (no judgements here) and sometimes you just need a bit of a hand knowing what’s in and what’s out.

Now, this is not a replacement for regular CPD or training your leaders BUT… I’ve created a bit of a 2025 cheat sheet for workplace culture. Here we go:

Hustle Culture: Out.

Remember when everyone kept going on about being part of the 5am club. They’d worked out, read a self-help book, listened to a business podcast and posted about it on social media well before I, and maybe you, had got out of bed. The problem here is that while this routine may work for some, it glorifies overworking, and feeds into an idea that we’re not enough. Tony Schwartz and Eric Severson have written on this topic for the Harvard Business Review, they say that “immersion in work helps hold off feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, loneliness, sadness, and emptiness”. In effect, being busy, even to the point of being overwhelmed, helps us to stave off that crippling little voice telling us we aren’t good enough. And here’s the kicker, say the pair, “the corporate world… continues to overwhelmingly reward those who push themselves the hardest” despite the fact we know that overworking leads to burnout, poor judgement, a reduced ability to think critically, poor decision making, the list goes on. This is not to say we should discourage enthusiasm and hard work, but as employers we need to build sustainable and positive working environments demonstrated by our leaders. Does this mean you don’t press send on that email/text/WhatsApp for your team until the morning? So be it.

Quality over Quantity: In

One way to ensure your team don’t overwork, focus on outputs rather than activity. Success shouldn’t be defined in terms of presenteeism or workaholism but in efficient, quality and meaningful impact and results. Want an even bigger (and more sobering) reason as to why this must be the case in 2025? A recent World Health Organisation study found that working 55+ hours per week – compared to 35-40 hours – correlates with a 35% higher risk of stroke and a 17% higher risk of dying from heart disease.

Asking employees to bring their whole selves to work: Out

This one’s a tough one. We all meant this with the best of intentions. Post covid, we actively encouraged employees to bring all of themselves to work. We wanted to let them know that they could be authentic, true to themselves, and that they didn’t have to hide or shelter parts of their personality. And this is still true but…we can’t expect this unless we’ve fully invested in providing a psychologically safe environment, that celebrates diversity, where our workforce has received suitable, meaningful and continued learning and development that allows everyone to show up as 100% themselves. Otherwise, we shouldn’t expect too much vulnerability. Let’s not ask people to drop their guard in ways they aren’t comfortable but instead create frameworks where people feel supported in a variety of different ways. Not all of us want to let everyone in, and that’s ok.

Flexibility: In

I’m not going to say too much on this here – a lot has been said before. Only to say flexibility doesn’t necessarily mean remote working, or even hybrid. Flexibility can be just that, having the flexibility to go and do what you need to do, when you need to do it. Pick up the kids, go to a doctor’s appointment, get the boiler serviced. Life isn’t always 9-5 and we should try our best to accommodate this whenever we can.

Environmental, Social and Governance (ESG) activities are becoming increasingly important in attracting, retaining and empowering talent. I’d go as far to say that ESG factors are no longer optional considerations for business; recent Total Jobs research reported a 62% increase in candidate led questions around ESG commitments, with almost three quarters of job seekers reporting that they would be interested in a job that contributes to preserving or restoring the environment. And there’s no doubt employers have, to some extent, got onboard; Indeed, research reports a 116% increase in ‘green’ job postings from 2019 to 2024, and we know that 88% of publicly traded companies adopted ESG policies by 2020.

But (and it’s a big but) there’s a problem with the way ESG is embedded in many businesses. So much so that while 71% of people express interest in working for a sustainably minded employer, only 29% say Total Jobs, can correctly define green jobs from a list of options. It seems to me that businesses are often responding to candidate ‘wants’ (posting more sustainable jobs, talking about ESG in interviews etc.) without thinking about how this is translated into satisfying deep rooted candidate ‘needs’.

And to some extent, can I blame them? In the competition for talent, employers are trying to tap into the candidate psyche and meet their expectations, expectations that are being generationally challenged. If we take Gen Z for example (those born between 1997 and 2012) Deloitte report that 42% have already changed or plan to change jobs due to climate concerns. Moreover, a KPMG survey showed that 1/3 of young people have turned down a job that didn’t align to their values and in comparison to other generations, Gen Z candidates are 15% more likely to research a company’s ESG credentials. And this is before we start to think about Gen Alpha entering the workforce…

But here’s the thing, despite everything I’ve just said in terms of the importance of ESG, most people will consider ESG only after their financial and wellbeing needs are met. I don’t think that’s necessarily surprising; a base level understanding of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory will tell you people will always look to fulfil basic needs before more advanced needs. So, on the one hand, we need to prioritise ESG to meet candidate expectations. On the other, we know that basic needs are, and always will be, more important. How do we balance it all? What’s the answer?

We need to look to embed ESG in such a way that it becomes woven into the fabric of the employee experience. Where it’s not treated as a ‘nice to do’ but clearly and powerfully demonstrated in our everyday dealings. Some examples:

Aligning Incentives with ESG Goals – Incentives don’t have to just be attached to performance in a traditional sense. Remuneration could also be linked with meeting ESG objectives.

Recruit for Sustainability – A recent study conducted by Russell Reynolds Associates, in partnership with the UN Global Compact, found that 92% of business leaders believe that integration of sustainability issues is critical to business success, but only 4% of C-suite role specifications demand sustainability experience or mindsets.

Empowering Employees to Drive Change – Allow employees who show passion for sustainability to create their own internal networks, forums and infrastructure to contribute to ESG policy and initiatives, creating a culture of shared responsibility.

Think holistically about ESG – The S and the G are important. Often, we use ESG only to describe our environmental efforts and focus, but we need to think holistically about ESG to tie the concept back to satisfying base level needs.

A key element of Labour’s election manifesto was a pledge to transform workers’ rights through the introduction of the Employment Rights Bill. Last year, Labour described this Bill as “the biggest upgrade to workers’ rights in a generation” and presented a set of significant employment reforms designed to provide greater protections and security for workers across the UK.

The proposed changes represent a major shift in UK employment law, aiming to create a fairer and more balanced workplace. These reforms include a ban on zero-hour contracts, the introduction of Day One rights for unfair dismissal, Day One rights for flexible working requests, and the outlawing of exploitative fire-and-rehire practices. According to the Government, these measures are essential for fostering a more stable, productive, and equitable labour market.

Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner emphasised the urgency of these reforms, stating, “For too long, millions of workers have been forced to endure insecure, low-paid, and irregular work, while our economy is blighted by low growth and low productivity.” Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds reinforced this point, adding, “Many businesses already implement worker-friendly practices and recognise the positive impact they have on retention, productivity, and job satisfaction. We want to go further—unlocking the UK’s full potential by attracting the best talent and giving businesses the confidence to hire, invest, and grow.”

At the time, I wrote about this Bill and future implications for business, but also noted the extensive period of consultation we would see across 2025 with most changes not likely to take effect until at least 2026. With the first 200 pages of amendments now published following early consultations with business groups and trade unions, I want to look at a few of the key points from the amendments and consultation responses.

Guaranteed Hours for Agency Workers

Agency workers will be covered under the ban on zero-hour contracts. Under the Bill, employers must offer contracts that reflect the hours agency workers regularly work—ensuring guaranteed weekly hours for the 900,000 agency workers currently in the UK.

In addition, agency workers will have the right to reasonable notice of shifts and any changes to their schedules. If shifts are altered at short notice, they will be entitled to compensation. This responsibility will be shared by both the employment agency and the end hirer, as either party may be responsible for providing notice.

Agency staff, like other workers, should benefit from these protections by ensuring greater stability in their working arrangements.

Statutory Sick Pay: A Day One Right

Currently, Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) is not paid for the first three days of sickness—known as ‘waiting days’—with payments starting only from the fourth day. The Bill will remove this waiting period, making SSP a Day One right.

At present, employees must earn above a set “Lower Earnings Limit” to qualify for SSP. This threshold will also be scrapped, ensuring all employees are entitled to either 80% of their average earnings or a weekly flat rate (whichever is lowest).

Collective Redundancies

Under current law, employers must hold a collective consultation if they propose 20 or more redundancies at a ‘single establishment’ and intend to make these redundancies within a 90-day period. To better ensure businesses follow these obligations, the Government is increasing the maximum protective award from 90 to 180 days, meaning employees could receive up to 180 days’ pay if their employer fails to properly consult with them during a collective redundancy process. Additionally, the criteria for triggering collective consultation will be amended—redundancy numbers will now be calculated across the entire business, rather than just a single establishment.

Bereavement Leave

Under the proposed reforms, mothers and their partners will be entitled to two weeks of bereavement leave following a pregnancy loss occurring before 24 weeks’ gestation.

Currently, parents have the right to bereavement leave if they experience the loss of a child or a stillbirth after 24 weeks. The new measures will extend this right to those who suffer a loss earlier in pregnancy.

 

It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward” said one great psychologist. No, not Freud, Jung or Erikson, but Rocky Balboa, 2006.

However you feel about Stallone as a writer, we think this dialogue quite neatly sums up the importance of resilience to the human condition. Resilience is not only critical to success, but a crucial component of happiness, satisfaction, mental and physical wellbeing. And what’s great about resilience is that it can be developed; Dr Julie Smith, clinical psychologist and best-selling author writes, “when people hit a certain life event that proves more demanding than their current coping strategies can meet, we’re learning new ways of coping, to bolster that resilience”.

It’s incredible. The ability for people to work through trauma and hardship, to live through unimaginable anguish and pain, and come out the other side. “Adversity doesn’t discriminate” says Dr Lucy Hone, resilience expert and Director at the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience, “if you are alive, you are going to, or have already had to, deal with some tough times”.

And yet, despite the importance of resilience, and the fact that none of us are inherently born ‘resilient’, it doesn’t get much airtime when it comes to developing this incredibly important piece of self. While it might have changed in the 20 years, we don’t remember attending any resilience classes, or being coached on strategies to handle stress in truly effective ways. What we do remember, and this might resonate with some of you, is hearing things such as “it’ll get better”, “be positive”, “you’ll get there in the end” – sentiments coming from lovely, good-hearted people, but not particularly useful in navigating the situation you’re facing at the time.

And we’re not going to talk to you about diet, sleep, and exercise – although important – because we don’t want to be one of those people who tell you to simply “go for a walk” when you’re going through sh**. Resilience is much more complex and nuanced than that. Here are some insights that have truly helped us:

I am not a victim

In times of stress, it’s easy to get caught up in feelings of victimhood. That the universe is specifically working against you and that you can’t catch a break. The danger in this mentality, of course, is that it prevents you from taking positive action (often any action) and you can spiral into a state of depression. Resilient people, Hone says, “know that suffering is part of life… and knowing this stops you feeling discriminated against when the tough times come”.

Tune out the ego

Our egos are sensitive, attention seeking, emotional, irrational, all-encompassing, energy draining and fantastic, all at the same time. The ego is uniquely wrapped up in the concept of ‘self’ – in many ways it’s the conscious part that makes you, you. But, because of this, it’s temperamental, and often prevents you from seeing things clearly and objectively. The ego is aggressively seeking out threats and in doing so is disproportionately feeding us more negative than positive. As Fredrik Imbo, in his Ted talk on ‘How not to take things personally’ says, we have 50,000 thoughts per day and yet only 10,000 are positive, that means “80% of what we think are negative thoughts”. We sometimes need to train ourselves to put our ego back in its box and look at the facts rather than our feelings.

Evaluate what’s helping/harming

It’s important to be honest with yourself and evaluate whether what you’re doing is helping you or harming you. For instance, are you exposing yourself to situations, people or experiences which are particularly triggering or stressful? Exposure to trauma, in my opinion, does not make you resilient. Instead, as Dr Smith explains, resilience is “about making lots of small changes. Reflect on what those might be, try them, keep what works, ditch what doesn’t.”

 

Imposter syndrome. Have you experienced it? I have. Multiple times. We often attribute imposter syndrome and feelings of inadequacy to those early in their careers and just starting out. Newbies, finding their feet, battling the feeling that they’re out of their depth and trying their best to demonstrate that fake it ‘til you make it nonchalance that we’ve all heard so much about. However, imposter syndrome isn’t exclusive to 20 somethings, graduates, and new starters. According to research conducted in 2011, approximately 70% of people will experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives, even in situations where they are extremely experienced and accomplished.

This makes sense on understanding that there are actually different ‘imposter types’. Dr Valerie Young, a global thought leader on imposter syndrome has categorised these into subgroups. The ‘Perfectionist’ is perhaps the most classic and widely known type, so instead and for this example, we’ll use the ‘Natural Genius’. Dr Young states in her award-winning book, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: And Men: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, “Like the Perfectionist, the Natural Genius has set the internal bar impossibly high. But instead of the key measure being flawlessness, you judge yourself based on ease and speed. You expect to know without being taught, to excel without effort, and to get it right on the first attempt…. When you’re not able to do something quickly or fluently, your imposter alarm goes off”.

Does this sound like you? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, but when we understand that imposter syndrome is experienced differently for different people, we realise that even the most seasoned among us can feel like a fraud. So, what can we do about it? Here are my quick-fire tips:

Reflect and Reframe: For me, imposter syndrome is usually triggered by one event. One single negative event in what could be a series of very positive events. An event that might have even been out of my control. Taking time out to reflect on the good and reframing the bad into something more workable and constructive is my go-to tactic. Focus on facts rather than feelings.

Moderate Social Media Use: Social media deserves its own special place in hell when it comes to making you feel inadequate. However great you’re doing, there’s always someone doing better, looking better, or giving you advice on how you can also earn six figures a month from the beach. Scroll with caution.

You do You: If you’re following me on LinkedIn, you’ll likely have noticed I’m not quite your ‘average’ recruiter. In fact, I’m quite confident in saying I wouldn’t fit in at a typical agency, and I’m sure they’d hate my attention grabbing TikToks, no matter how many roles I fill. But this is how I do things, it’s me, and it works, so why would I change that to fit into someone else’s mould? Be you and embrace it!

Talk it out: Sharing your feelings with those you trust can help you gain perspective and regain your confidence. I’m a big advocate for talking it out; open up and be vulnerable, you’ll feel better for it!

– Martin Norris, Head of Recruitment